Dammit

I'm betwixt and between....

Not a student, not employed, and waiting, for the next stage to begin.

Money is always part of the problem, but so is the unknowing - where, what, when? Clearly I am a control freak, I just don't like having it pointed out to me.

I have to sell myself. Why isn't a glowing Academic Transcript enough. How many High Distinctions do you need, for God's sake?

I should be making the most of this lull. Finish the painting, do some exercise, plant more vegetables, weed the veggie garden, get on my cushion and meditate, remember what it feels like to just be. But I want to bloody know what's next.

I have resorted to lists: of things to do, of things to cook, of things not to do. I want to rant and swear, but I'm mindful that this is a public platform, and I have a professional standard to maintain. Yes the irony, for my career that has not yet begun.